Renaissance Cowboy

I confess that I completely stole this from another website (here’s my source), but I found this to be incredibly funny and witty, and I hope that you will enjoy it as much as I did. And women, to be fair, there is a “Dogs vs Men” list on the website linked above.

Enjoy.

Dogs versus Women

Dogs don’t cry

Dogs love it when friends come over

Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo

Dogs think you sing great

A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink

Dogs don’t expect you to call when you’re running late

The later you are, the more excited they are to see you

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs

Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another name

Dogs are excited by rough play

Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away

Dogs love red meat

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair

Anyone can get a good looking dog

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it

Dogs don’t shop

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor

A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long

Dogs never need to examine the relationship

A dog’s parents never visit

Dogs love long car trips

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions

Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were meant to be hunted

Dogs like beer

Dogs don’t hate their bodies

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood

Dogs never criticize

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across

Dogs never expect gifts

Dogs don’t worry about germs

Dogs don’t want to know about every other dog you ever had

Dogs like to do their snooping outdoors as opposed to in your wallet, desk and the back of your sock drawer

Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one

You never have to wait for a dog, They’re ready to go 24 hours a day

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry

Dogs don’t borrow your shirts

Dogs never need foot-rubs

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public

Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk

As you may or may not know, Dan Dalke, my ninth grade biology teacher, passed away this summer from a six-year battle with multiple myeloma, a rare blood cancer with few treatment options and fewer good ones. He was one of the most passionate, charismatic, and inspirational teachers I’ve ever had in my many years of school. His memorial service this weekend was extremely well done, and I applaud those that put such lengthy efforts into making it possible, even with such great emotional weight on their shoulders. Recently I have reflected greatly on him, his life, and what he meant to me, and I think it is only appropriate that I share some of these thoughts so that others can rejoice in the memories and the lessons he left behind in this world.

Mr. Dalke was many things to many people, but the first role he played in my life was teacher. He loved teaching, and I hardly think I could be truly grateful enough to him for the time and effort he gave in order to make a difference. I learned that science is really cool. He saw a spark in me - perhaps more than I saw in myself - and he nurtured it. He was the very first person to introduce the word “biochemistry” to me. As strange as it sounds now, I had never heard of it, and immediately I was hooked. He explained in such clear and lucid detail how chemical processes are responsible for biological phenomena; that life is in its most basic reduction a collection of molecules interacting with each other. From a classroom perspective, this may have been the best thing I learned. That, and Genko biloba.

He also encouraged me to think about a career in science. I should pursue further study, I should work in a lab, etc. I didn’t know what a lab really was; I just thought of glassware and funny chemicals. But it sounded cool, so I asked if I could work in a lab the summer after ninth grade. Unfortunately, most ninth graders don’t want to work in a lab, so my opportunities were severely limited. I kept the idea in the back of my head.

Perhaps outside of the science, however, is where Mr. Dalke leaves behind such an incredible legacy. The obvious, cancer, is a huge part of his inspirational legend. Even as he battled bad chemo and worse news throughout his cancer fight, he continued to pursue his passions unrelentingly. He loved his kids, he loved his teaching, and he loved fishing. These three things occupied most of his time outside the hospital, and he always did as much as he could to keep going. This illustrates one important piece of advice I gather from Mr. Dalke: if you won’t fight for the things you do, its not worth it. Mr. Dalke was quite a brilliant man, and I speculate that he could have pursued many career paths more lucrative (and maybe less work) than high school teaching and marine biology. But it is clear that Mr. Dalke had no interest in other endeavors; he did what he absolutely loved and only in gruesome treatments could he be stopped from doing it. Think about the average working person, and ask yourself how many of them would fight doctors, chemo, and illness to go to work. Very few, I imagine, and I suppose that we would all be well-served to follow the example of Mr. Dalke and find a profession worth fighting for. Not just a job that you like; a job you would fight for. I hope to be as fortunate as Mr. Dalke in this sense.

Another important thing that Mr. Dalke truly believed in was enjoying the present. I am quite guilty of planning my life years in advance, and I must admit that sometimes I get so caught up in 2,3, or even more years from now and I neglect to enjoy the present and appreciate it for its worth. Mr. Dalke was such a perpetually happy person who lived with energy and purpose, and I could always count on him to brighten my day in some small but significant way.

There are so many more things that could be written about Mr. Dalke, but for the sake of brevity I won’t write much more. He was a phenomenal man who always put others before himself. He inspired me to push myself to develop the talents I was given, and in his death I am motivated even further. He was a passionate man who could not be stopped from doing what he loved, and for that I respect him far beyond the scope of words. I now want to take one last opportunity to write directly to him.

Mr. Dalke (or Dan, as you recently insisted),

You were such a loving and caring mentor to me, and I sincerely hope that you are watching over me as I pursue my passions here on Earth. Tomorrow I start biochemistry, and I want nothing more than to make you proud of your scrawny, eager-beaver little freshman who never knew his own talents. I’ve never been sure if guardian angels are real or not, but I hope that you will be a guardian angel to me as a continue on the difficult and important path of science.

With love and appreciation,
Sam

It’s been awhile since I’ve tumbled, but I just wanted to stop by and shout out to my billions of followers (that’s with a B). I must confess to you all that I’ve been stricken with a severe case of wanderlust; the desire to get on a plane and go. I am very keen on flight deals now, and I’m definitely putting “Million Miler” on my lifetime bucket list. I’m looking for an excuse to fly anywhere, anytime. The journey is just as fun as the destination. So if you see any fare sales, please post them! I’ll offer up a Delta deal I came across earlier today: double miles for nonstop flights Boston-Paris through September 15. Have your own midnight in Paris, and get ~13,000 Skymiles for $1,000 RT ticket. It’s pricey, but it’s Paris. C’est la vie!

After a lovely train ride from Rome to Venice (where we met several interesting characters; see my father’s blog for more on that), we arrived here around 3:30pm local time. As soon as we left the train station, we were thrust out into the charming wonders of Venice. The light blue/green canal water was quite soothing to the eye, although I don’t think I’d ever drink it. We waited patiently in line for “metro” tickets; here the metro is actually a huge boat taxi system called the “vaporetti” (as I’m writing this, I can’t help but think of all the “I’m On a Boat” references). Venice is the largest pedestrian city in Europe, if not the whole world. The entire transportation system consists of two elements: watercraft, and feet. For those who choose to come by car, there is one massive parking garage on the very outer edge of the island; however, it’s significantly cheaper to just park on the mainland and take a ferry (or a train into the train station).

Getting through Venice cannot simply described as “walking”; no, the mysterious allure of the narrow, bustling alleyways and the peaceful noises of passing gondolas create an unparalleled environment for the avid traveler. One must peruse these lively streets, dare I say explore them. I always enjoy “movie moments”, where I feel like I have been dropped into a movie set. The entire island of Venice qualifies as a movie set. People have always been drawn towards water, and I would consider Venice to be an exceptional example of why being on the water is so attractive. Most people enjoy waterfront living, where aquatic transportation is an option. In Venice, it is the only option other than foot transportation. Maybe it’s just the gelato in my belly talking, but life seems to move at a happier speed here.

At night, sensual street lights take the place of glimmering rays of sun, and the vibrant alleys become even more intriguing. Some say that the biggest tourist attraction in Venice is getting lost, and I can’t say I disagree. My father and I started the afternoon with a map, but after dinner I insisted that we ditch the map. I was surprised at how safe I felt, even off the major pedestrian arteries. I guess that’s partially attributable to the fact that you’re never more than a minute from the water. The great thing about Venice is that you can get lost without getting really lost. The island of Venice is only about 3 miles by 2 miles, and as I mentioned, you’re never too far from a recognizable landmark.

As you can tell by the title, I was am constantly in awe of the unique beauty of Venice. I am not the most avid (or skilled) photographer, but in a place like this, I was instantly drawn to my camera to take some pictures. I am particularly enthralled by the energetic urban nightscapes, and I managed to take a few decent photos to share with you. I wish you could all be with me to see these views in person, but these pictures serve a purpose: to offer a glimpse into the fantasy life of Venice, and to encourage you (as well as myself) to return, and grow a deeper love and understanding for this fascinating culture. With no further ado, I offer a few of my snapshots. Enjoy.

An alleyway near our hotel.

I don’t know what this means in English, but I do know it’s near a gelato shop.

I like the street light reflecting off the water - it lends a sense of mystery and adventure.

A larger canal on the south side of the island. My father loves this picture.

On the right, the restaurant where we ate dinner. On the left, the restaurant where I thought we ate dinner. Luckily, there’s no bad option in this secret pasta haven.

Where we’re staying in Venice. The vaporetti operate mostly along the grand canal that you see winding through the heart of the island. This place is so amazing - I want to buy a loft here and make it my European getaway. Put it on VRBO and come here at least three times a year. Sell my soul for plane tickets.

Right now I struggle to use the word “day” with precise clarity - I look at my phone and it says one thing, but my tired eyes tell me another. Nonetheless, I press on in the spirit of blogging and Carlos.

Yesterday we flew out of Atlanta at 4:40pm on an overbooked Airbus that was 8 seats across - I happened to have one of the two in the very very middle. I sat next to a nice married couple from Georgia who, as it turns out, are the owners of Russ’ mother. For the uninitiated, Russ is the interm bulldog mascot at UGA who has been standing in for sick Ugas since 2009. For any true Georgia Bulldog, getting a connection to the storied Uga bloodline is one of the greatest opportunities you could ever be afforded. She could not say what the future of the mascot situation looks like, but we agreed that it would be advantageous to introduce some fresh bulldog genes into Sonny Seiler’s breeds. I also enjoyed the distinct viewing pleasure of Appaloosa, a recent Western with Ed Harris and Renée Zellweger that I found to be quite enjoyable, if slow at times. Between friendly neighbors and an extensive selection of multimedia entertainment at my fingertips, I kept myself rather occupied during the 9-hour flight.

Unfortunately, none of these “occupations” involved sleep. Because the plane left at 4:40pm eastern time, I knew that I would only be up in the air until 2:00am (ish) eastern time. Staying up until 2 in the morning is not something I have done often, but it certainly isn’t out of my capability. Plus, because we were flying east (and north), the time difference between a Nova Scotia sunset and a London sunrise was only about 3 hours of flight time (Appaloosa was 2 of those 3). To my pleasant ecstatic surprise, the flight crew served hot breakfast shortly after sunrise, which was tasty and awakening. Or so I thought.

Our journey through the Fiumicino airport was quick and painless, but then we got on a shuttle van to our hotel and I got ROCKED by a cinder block of jet lag. I’m talking about the kind of tired that comes out of nowhere and works faster than surgical anesthetics. I had been kidding myself all “morning” that I would be fine, but not sleeping on an overnight flight always catches up to you!

Thankfully, we had arranged early check-in at Hotel Petit, so when we arrived at 10:30am local time, we were able to get in our room and take a nap. And by nap, I’m not talking about a 20-minute “rest your eyes” nap. We had a glorious 3-hour turbo nap. That being said, we still weren’t fully rested or awake, but it was enough to get us out and about on the crazy streets of Rome. We walked downhill (yes, that is a crucial detail) to the Colosseum, toured inside and out for an hour, and got chocolate gelato from a street vendor. It was totally a tourist trap (all the signs were in English), but it was still the best gelato I’ve ever had. I can’t imagine what non-tourist-trap gelato must taste like.

Upon finishing our gelato, we suddenly faced two major crises. 1) We had finished our gelato. 2) We faced an uphill hike to our hotel in the (surprisingly intense) afternoon heat. Crisis 1 we put off for later. Crisis 2 we solved by taking a double-decker sightseeing bus. I have said this before, and I have reinforced it again: Taking an open air bus ride through a new city is the best way to introduce yourself to the city, the attractions, and the environment. First of all, it takes the focus off walking and allows you to focus on navigating the map and seeing the sights. Second, it keeps you safe from and above the potentially dangerous elements such as pickpockets and dishonest vendors. I always feel safer once I’m oriented in a new place. Third of all, it gives you a quick preview of all the major sights in person (with an English audioguide!), which allows you to prioritize for later visits. Internet photos can be misleading, so seeing it in person can be very telling.

We made it safely back to our hotel, where I now write to you my finest manifestos. My father Louis has also started a travel blog, which he is enjoying. You can read his for a fresher perspective (and also more compact!). It’s almost 8pm here - I’m anticipating a hot pasta dinner with endless bread.

I’m Ron Burgundy; you stay classy San Diego.